Pour most of your energy into common spaces, Ms. McCubbin advises her clients. For example, she and her husband like to cook, so the kitchen must function well for both of them, she said. But he has an office and a bathroom that she rarely steps foot in so she does not have to see the mess. (Many people don’t have that much space, she acknowledged.)
Focusing on function can be especially helpful for parents who don’t want to battle their children over messy bedrooms. Antonia Colins, who runs the website Balance Through Simplicity, has two adolescent daughters, one of whom struggles with neatness. So Ms. Colins has set basic ground rules, she said. For instance, she insists on clutter-free floors and a desk that is clear enough to study from. (She also expects her daughters to put their dirty laundry next to the washing machine, and return any plates or glasses to the kitchen.) But she looks the other way if the bed isn’t made perfectly or if there is a pile of clean clothes in the corner.
Consider the deeper issues at play.
Sometimes clutter piles up because someone is unwilling to put in the effort to clean and organize. Other times, it is because they have mental or physical roadblocks, explained Michael A. Tompkins, a psychologist and co-author of “Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding and Compulsive Acquiring.”
Perhaps the most obvious example is hoarding disorder, but there are other links between mental health and messiness. For instance, those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (A.D.H.D.) or other executive functioning issues often struggle with excess clutter. In those instances, patience and understanding can go a long way, he said.
Physical limitations can also be a factor. “I’m 73, so I can speak to this personally,” Dr. Tompkins said. “My ability to maintain my living environment has degraded as my physical capacity has degraded, not because I’m not still interested in keeping my living environment tidy and organized.”
Kaynak: briturkish.com
